Wednesday, July 11, 2007
so long since the last post.. guess im juz not a blogger blogger.. well.. the post from 2 ago is still valid. if u can understand what i mean.. anyway heres today's
got back results today.. did well.. 2 highdistinctions 3 distinctions.. brought my average above 70.. yay.. honours.. well.. was working today.. and i took advantage of a break to check the results.. when i saw them i was happy.. i mean i thought i would fail.. than after awhile.. i guess i juz started feeling sorry for myself.. i think about the results i got.. how happy i was to see them.. the 7s.. and 8s.. than i think about the simple fact.. that i threw away someone who really means something to me.. just to achieve that them.. looking back at it.. i wonder if the results matter.. do i really give a damn about them? honestly.. to me now their just numbers.. no biggie.. so what if i get uppers and come back next yr and get a good paying job.. i still wont be happy.. im just living life.. for the sake of living.. i got ppl who love me.. and i love back.. but somewhat i cant let them into my life.. cause i just am not able to give them what they deserve. got too many thoughts in my mind.. im sick of drinking and smoking.. but if i dont, i sleep at 5 everyday.. and even than its only after thinking for 2-3 hours..is this called karma? something i did to ppl before? maybe i deserve it..i dont know.. all i know is im sorry.. i didnt control myself.. and as such i hurt u.. im sorry im unable to provide u with what u want.. bye..
time to get back to my hoe.. cya..
boo scribbled this at 11:37 PM!
